So I haven’t been on tumblr in easily a year or maybe more, but I am just so angry, and upset and disappointed and disillusioned and what better a place to talk about it then tumblr, right?
Also I wanted to do a little PSA. So here it is:
IT WAS ALL A LIE PEOPLE. Everyone who ever told you that you can do anything, and that it’s all going to work out at the end, they lied. It doesn’t. It never works out. You can’t, contrary to what you may think, do and be whatever you want. Life will and does get in the way, and the sooner you find that out, the sooner you can accept it and move on. Everything sucks and all you can do in life is try to ignore the suck, and convince yourself that there are things that don’t suck. Love, it’s shitty and it sucks. Work, even shittier. Friends, ok those are pretty cool, that is one thing that is not a lie, friends are awesome. You’re dreams, they are just that, dreams, and when they don’t come true, they suck. Even when they do come true, guess what. That’s right! They suck, because once you set an expectation, it can never be truly satisfied. This is reality people. It was a lie. You’re welcome.
Also, don’t bother responding to this, I probably won’t come back on tumblr for another couple of years, assuming tumblr is still a thing.
I think it’s been about 4 months since I’ve done anything on tumblr. Oops!
Well looking back at all my old posts, a lot has fucking changed. I got my job back, I got my confidence back, and then some. My hair is two different colors now, and very long, and I have straight bangs. None of this really matters, but oh well!
I’ve been pretty busy with work and my social life, little that there is, and also trying to put together a new plan for myself.
I have recently decided that I do not want to be a photographer. I love photography, I think it is an absolutely beautiful medium and it will always be my first love. However, it just isn’t for me. i can’t see myself struggling for the rest of my life to take photos for magazines or ad campaigns or newspapers, or even for myself. So instead I’ve decided to switch to film.
I have always looooooved film. I have been obsessed with it since I was a little girl but I never saw it as a possibility for myself. I thought I was too timid and didn;t have enough drive or talent or guts to do film. And then I realized, fuck that, I’m going to do it anyways! I am not timid, I am fucking talented and I do have the determination and the guts to do whatever the fuck I want! So yeah… Film.
It’s been a little bit of a crazy transition, convincing my parents, and myself a little, but after a few months of really talking about and looking over my options, things are starting to take motion.
So my new plan? Work full time until next year, then take community college classes to get all my general ed requirements ou of the way. Work my ass off to get perfect fucking grades and a kick ass portfolio so that I can transfer toooooo…. USC!
Well I don’t really know if anyone will even read this, but whatever. I am planning on starting a film blog dedicated to reviews and my journey through film. So if you’re interested in that stay tuned! Have a glorious day and stay beautiful!
Well it was nice having a job for at least a month…
I think what pisses me off the most is the fact that no one is being honest with me. Like, it’s been three weeks now. Obviously I’m not coming back, I get that. But could you at least have the decency to call me, or email me, fuck, even a text would be fine, just telling me that you’re letting me go? Stop ignoring me, I’m not just going to go away. You fucked me over, you owe me this. Thanks.